


Switching Roles

by everlovingdeer



Series: Harry Potter Short Stories [73]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Flirting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Oblivious, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 18:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21061424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everlovingdeer/pseuds/everlovingdeer
Summary: “I’m going to need you to be a bit more specific,” he said slowly, sounding very confused.Narrowing my eyes at him, I asked slowly so he’d understand, “Yourejectedme, right? So why on earth are you chasing after me now?”Raising an eyebrow, he asked, “Do you not want me to?”





	1. Switching Roles

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted to other sites on 19/07/17 and I've edited it slightly to post it onto here

Even with the approaching exams, the Professors were still giving us essays to complete. It was like they enjoyed seeing us almost collapse under the workload. Professor McGonagall was the same. The exams were less than a month away and just as she did every week, she had set us an essay to complete in time for our lesson next week. Merlin, the stress was going to get to me one day and I had a feeling it would be soon. It was extremely likely too, especially since Ernie Macmillan had been admitted to the hospital wing because of his anxiety and was currently being fed calming draughts. 

Terry, my tablemate for Transfiguration, was on his feet the moment the lesson ended as he rushed to pack his things. I eyed him in amusement, packing my things in a more leisurely pace. 

“Hungry?” I questioned with a grin.

He looked down at me with a slightly embarrassed smile, “I need to get to the great hall before Michael takes all the Yorkshire puddings for himself.”

“I doubt that’s possible. The house-elves make hundreds.”

Terry shook his head, “You’ve clearly never seen Michael’s love for Yorkshire puddings.”

He went to say something else but trailed off, watching the boy who was approaching our desk. I followed his gaze and tried my very best not to cringe when I saw Dean Thomas approaching us. Rowena, why did the embarrassment never cease. Whenever I saw him I instantly remembered the embarrassment I’d felt when he’d turned me down at the beginning of the year. I’d summoned up the courage to confess how I felt about him and he’d turned me down. Of course, he’d been nice about it but it was still so incredibly humiliating to remember. 

Merlin, what did he want now?

As he came to a stop in front of our desk, Terry had long forgotten his plans to rush to the great hall and had instead sat down again in a show of some subtle Ravenclaw loyalty. I thanked him silently and turned my attention back to the boy standing, waiting to be acknowledged. 

“Howard,” he greeted quietly, making my eyebrows rise in surprise; he was here to see me?

“Thomas,” I greeted back, waiting awkwardly for someone to say something.

Terry took mercy on me, clearing his throat pointedly to remind Thomas of his presence. The two boys exchanged greetings that were slightly less awkward than ours had been. 

“What do you want?” Terry asked with a raised eyebrow when it became obvious I wasn’t going to say anything. He threw me an exasperated glance that Thomas missed; Terry didn’t understand why my personality ‘disappeared’ around Thomas. He just didn’t understand why I found it so cringeworthy around the Gryffindor. 

“You’re good at Transfiguration, right?” Thomas asked me and I nodded under his eyes. He grinned suddenly, taking me by surprise, “Professor McGonagall says you’re one of her best students.”

I flushed at the unexpected compliment, looking past his shoulder at my Professor who was sorting through some papers. “Really?”

He nodded eagerly, “So I was wondering if you’d maybe be able to help me with the next essay? I really want to get a good grade before the exams come up.”

Disbelief crossed my features for a fraction of a second. I could have sworn that Thomas was near the top of the class in terms of grades. Unless that had been a misunderstanding on my part? He waited patiently for my answer but I was busy looking over his shoulder and spying my friends who had narrowed their eyes at him.

“So? Do you think you’d be able to help me?” he questioned softly, still not realising that I was watching as Lisa and Mandy hurriedly made their way over to us, clearly going to intercede. 

Relief filled me at the obvious backup that was on its way. Not that Terry’s presence wasn’t comforting. He just wasn’t one of the girls – he hardly knew how heartbroken I’d felt after everything. Before he could ask me again, Mandy had cleared her throat, making him turn to look at the pair of them. Thomas’ eyebrows rose in surprise, realising that he was surrounded by Ravenclaws. And well, there was strength in numbers. 

“Really Thomas,” Lisa piped up as Mandy walked around him to stand by my side and gesturing for me to rise to my feet. I did so with a quick glance at the lone Gryffindor. “Shouldn’t you get going to see your friends? You might not be hungry but _we _are.”

Embarrassment very briefly coloured his features before he hurried away but only after saying goodbye to all four of us. When he had walked a sufficient distance away from me, I felt the bravado seep out of my shoulders and I groaned, running a hand through my hair. 

“Why am I so bloody awkward?” I whined, looking to the girls who were waiting for me to get going.

The four of us made our way out of the classroom, saying goodbye to professor McGonagall as we left. Terry looked at the three of us as we walked with him and he rolled his eyes. 

“Merlin, you girls are so bloody dramatic.”

“Don’t worry Terry,” Mandy patted his shoulder reassuringly, “You can have all of my Yorkshire puddings for your help.”

He grumbled under his breath and said nothing as we entered the great hall. Sitting down between Anthony and Michael, he waved bye to us as we walked further down the table towards the rest of our dormmates. 

Lisa, once Terry had moved away from us, huffed. “Merlin, the nerve of that Thomas kid, trying to use your feelings for him to get you to help him with his work.”

As we sat down, I watched Mandy levitate the plate of Yorkshire puddings to Terry who grinned at her. I was still pondering Lisa’s words and I wondered with a frown if that was really what he had been doing. 

* * *

The Transfiguration section of the library had been ransacked as students struggled to finish the essay that had been set whilst balancing it with revising for the upcoming exams. I had managed to find the necessary books and check them out. However, by the time I returned to the desk where I had placed my stuff, I was surprised to find someone standing beside my stuff. 

“Can I help you?” I asked cautiously as I set the textbooks on the desk and began to pack up my things. Thomas merely smiled warmly at me and I struggled not to narrow my eyes at him. Perhaps Lisa’s thoughts had been right all along?

“It’s more like, can _I _help _you_,” he offered me a smile and I faltered slightly, not understanding. 

“What?”

“Let me carry your books for you,” he said gesturing to the small pile of textbooks that I was more than capable of carrying myself. 

“I’m sure I can handle them,” I assured him, giving him a funny look. 

“I know that,” he cleared his throat and looked a little embarrassed when he went on to say, “I want to take them for you.”

Eyeing him with uncertainty, I asked, “Why?”

He obviously wasn’t expecting my question. Tugging nervously at his tie, he asked, “Why, what?”

“Why are you doing this to me?” I clutched my robes in an anxious gesture before releasing them to sling my bag over my shoulder. He could have comprehended my question in a lot of different ways but I wondered if he would comprehend it in the way I meant. “Why are you suddenly showering me with so much attention?”

Understanding dawned on his features as he stepped towards my desk to pick my textbooks up. I watched the movement, eyebrows rising when he chose to play dumb instead of answering my asked question. 

“I’m just carrying your books for you,” he said with an innocent smile. 

I let out a breath, reaching into my pocket to find my wand. “Don’t bother.” Levitating the books out of his hand I made them float beside me as I prepared to leave the library. “As you can tell Thomas, your help isn’t needed.”

Brushing past him, I walked towards the doors with the books trailing after me. I made it to the hallway before he caught up with me, walking beside me with his hands tucked nonchalantly into his pockets. Throwing him an exasperated look, I briefly thought about speeding up but one glance at the length of his legs told me that I’d just be pointlessly wasting energy. 

“What do you want from me?” I exclaimed, throwing him and exasperated look that had him grinning charmingly at me. 

“What?” He glanced down at me for a moment, turning his innocent eyes onto my unimpressed frown. Only when the frown had been wiped from my lips did he look back to the hallway, “I’m just walking you to your common room.”

With a sigh, I shook my head and muttered under my breath, “Do whatever you want; you’re obviously not going to listen to anything I say.”

At being granted my ‘permission’, he grinned brightly and walked beside me as I walked to the Ravenclaw common room. He was so busy trying to think of something to say, and working up the courage to actually say it that he didn’t notice me taking the shortcut towards the common room. If he was going to walk me to the common room then I’d make sure to take the route that meant I spent the least amount of time in his presence. By doing so I was sparing myself a large amount of time in which I’d feel embarrassed. Did he even notice that I felt embarrassed whenever he was around? Did he not notice, or did he not care?

“Look, Thomas,” I said when I grew tired of waiting for him to say something, “whatever it is you want to say, hurry up and say it. But if it’s about that essay then you can forget it, I’m not helping you with it.”

My words confused him as we approached the common room. Looking down at me, he said quietly, “That’s not it.”

“Well, what is it then?” I raised an eyebrow, “You obviously approached me for a reason, so get it over with.”

He was hesitating again and mere moments later he lost his chance as Morag stepped out of the common room. She looked around the corridor and upon seeing me standing beside the Gryffindor, her eyes narrowed protectively. Lisa had already told her about him ‘trying to take advantage’ of my feelings. Before he could utter another word, she was charging towards us with a glare aimed at his figure. 

When she reached us, she linked her arm through mine and began to pull me into the common room. She didn’t bother to greet Thomas who was watching her incredulously, watching as I was dragged away.

Entering the common room, Morag dropped my arm and hissed, “Bloody Gryffindors.”

“They’re not all that bad,” I protested quietly. 

“No, you’re right,” she agreed after a moment’s thought, “Longbottom’s wasted in that house.”

* * *

Why was it so difficult to conjure a corporeal Patronus? Potter had said that you needed a powerful memory and I thought that the memory I was using was a pretty powerful one. And yet it had taken me two meetings to manage to do it. But I had gotten it in the end. 

Upon arriving at the meeting, I had headed to a corner of the room in order to get some privacy to practice casting a Patronus. Padma had headed over to her sister when we walked into the room and I waved her away with a smile. With a deep breath, I calmed myself and cast the Patronus charm with a steady hand. Bringing my memory to mind, I half expected myself to fail at casting the charm as I’d done so many times before but this time, somehow it worked. 

I watched the wispy, silver form erupt from the end of my wand. An immediate grin appeared on my features as I watched the white swan move around me with a grace that I certainly didn’t possess. It seemed to swim through the air, travelling through the room in search of something. Following my Patronus, I watched it approach another Patronus. It was another swan but one unlike my own. It was a black swan which, if my reading was to be trusted, was one of the most uncommon Patronuses around. 

I watched interestedly as the two swans approached each other hesitantly before circling each other. My eyebrows rose in surprise as I watched the two entwine their necks, forming the classic image of a heart. I contemplated summoning my Patronus back towards me, only to freeze when the owner of the other swan Patronus stepped forward. Thomas watched the pair of swans just as curiously as I did before clearing his throat. 

“They say that Patronuses take after their casters,” Thomas said unnecessarily, approaching me. I forced myself to remain where I was as the pair of swans began to swim around us in a circle, as though they were playing chase. 

“Well,” I muttered after clearing my throat as I remembered all that I’d read, “they say that the Patronus represents something hidden inside our personality, something even we don’t know about ourselves.”

He scratched the side of his neck as he asked quietly, “Do you think the Patronus behaves in the way its caster does? Does it reflect that as well?”

I knew why he was asking those questions, of course, I knew. Merlin, I was _not _that oblivious. In a split second, I was reminded of the cautionary words the girls had told me. I didn’t think he was the sort of person to approach someone whilst having ulterior motives but I had to admit that it was odd for him to begin approaching me out of nowhere. 

Ending my Patronus, I clutched my wand in my hand and watched as he did the same. Turning to walk away, I was taken by surprise when he called out after me, “Do you think I’m cursed or something? You always seem to want to run away from me.”

I forced myself to turn back towards him, meeting his eyes. With a shake of my head, I admitted quietly, “Whenever I’m around you, I seem to become instantly embarrassed and I can’t act like myself. You can’t blame me for wanting to get away from that.”

He knew what I meant – of course, he did. Covering the small space I’d managed to put between us, he crossed his arms as he stared down at me. “I really don’t think you have a reason to be embarrassed around me.”

Briefly meeting his eyes, I countered, “I don’t think you’re in any position to decide that for me.” 

He brought his eyes to mine, holding my gaze for a long moment as we both tried to think of something to say to that. I was struck by the odd urge to apologise in case my words had hurt him, but I’d merely spoken the truth to him. There was no need for me to apologise. Rowena, having feelings with someone always interfered with my ability to think rationally. 

As I finally made myself walk away from him, I was mildly surprised to find Padma waiting for me to acknowledge her. She had been watching the interaction with raised eyebrows and out of all of my dormmates, she was the only one to think that there was a different reason for Thomas approaching me. 

“What’s going on?” she questioned as I walked to her side. Her eyes flickered behind me and, I assumed, towards Thomas’ figure. 

“It’s nothing,” I insisted as I led her away and towards her sister. For a moment I wanted to glance behind me and see whether Thomas was still where I had left him or if he’d walked away. But I squashed the urge and continued forward.

“If you’re sure,” she murmured uncertainly. 

* * *

My next encounter with Thomas occurred during Charms, about ten minutes into the lesson. Anthony who had been sitting next to me nudged me with his arm and gestured for me to look up. I had briefly seen Thomas approaching our desk before looking back to my textbook. I had assumed that he was going to brush past me and I didn’t bother questioning why he was walking around during the lesson and why on earth Professor Flitwick was letting him walk around. 

There was the sound of a throat clearing. I looked up to see him standing in front of our desk, looking between Anthony and me. Anthony who had been placed on ‘guard duty’ by Terry eyed the taller boy suspiciously. 

“What do you want, Thomas?” he raised an eyebrow, setting his quill down on the table. 

“We’re supposed to switch partners,” Thomas explained and for a moment I didn’t believe him. And because I didn’t believe him, I looked around the classroom and noticed that half of the class had switched seats with someone else. But it didn’t make any sense – there was no reason to switch seats. 

“Why?” I questioned, bringing Thomas’ attention back to me.

He shrugged, “No clue. Flitwick just announced it minutes ago.” Looking back to Anthony, he told him, “You go and sit beside Seamus, I’ll work with Howard.”

Anthony hesitated for a moment, looking to Flitwick’s desk where he was gathering a set of papers. Looking back to me, he raised an eyebrow to silently ask if I was alright with this arrangement. I barely concealed an eye roll because Merlin, they were taking this all so far. 

Yes, being around Thomas was all sorts of embarrassing for me, but they were making me even more embarrassed by making such a big fuss. Thomas was probably mortified on the inside and pitied me a little because it was obvious that I couldn’t get over him. 

“Why don’t I sit with Finnegan?” I suggested, beginning to pack my things.

Thomas reached out to put a hand on my ink well, stopping me from packing it away. “I want to sit with you.”

I raised my eyes his and asked in disbelief, “You want to sit with me?” He nodded, eyes on mine and I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the most ridiculous smile from blooming on my lips. It worked and I looked to Anthony who was waiting for me to say something, “Go and work with Finnegan.”

Packing his things up, Anthony threw one last warning glance at Thomas before heading over to the seat he had vacated minutes ago. Thomas settled down beside me in silence and I shifted in my seat slightly to put some space between us. Honestly, there was no need for him to want to sit next to me, especially when minutes later it became clear that Flitwick had made us move as he was giving us a surprise quiz. When the test sheets had been passed through the class, there was a unanimous groan of annoyance before we settled down to get to work. 

I worked silently through the test paper and packed my things when I was finished. As I gathered my things, I noticed Thomas do the same from beside me. He caught my eye and grinned, startling me. 

“How did you find it?” he whispered, completely missing the glare Weasley sent his way.

“Stop it,” I hissed back, “people are still taking the test.”

He mimicked zipping his mouth and I smiled, rising from my seat. Walking through the classroom, I noticed some of the empty seats from students that had already left. Handing my head of house the test paper, I returned the smile he gave me and walked out into the corridor. I went to make my way towards my common room when there was a call of my name.

Pausing in my step, I turned back to Thomas who had left the classroom too. I waited for him to catch up to me, watching him expectantly.

“There’s a Hogsmeade trip coming up,” he started hesitantly and I got the sudden urge to run away from him. But my thoughts weren’t necessary as I spied Anthony walking out of the Charms classroom from over his shoulder. 

Cutting off whatever Thomas was going to say, I hurried to Anthony’s side and linked my arm through his. My fellow Ravenclaw jumped as though startled by the action and threw me a disgruntled look. It faded when his eyes drifted towards Thomas’ stationary figure. 

“Did you need something?” he asked the other boy. 

Thomas looked uncertain for a second, looking between Anthony and me before shaking his head. Bidding goodbye to the pair of us, he headed off in the direction of his own common room and I watched him go. When he was out of eyesight, Anthony looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Are you sure he rejected you?”

“Of course I am,” I muttered, rolling my eyes as we began to walk towards the common room. “I’m not _that _thick.”

“Are you sure Howard?” His constant questioning made me look at him expectantly. “Because from his behaviour it doesn’t seem that way?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure that guys understand another guy’s behaviour better than girls do?”

* * *

It seemed like the run-up to our O.W.L. exams were stressing a lot of the fifth years out. Some more than others, as Hannah Abbot had been admitted to the hospital wing last night and had been force-fed a calming draught. Merlin, exams were certainly taking their toll on the students that were meant to be sitting them. As a result, the library had become almost uninhabitable. 

There was a sudden influx of students who were working on every available space and competing for access to the right books. It was impossible to concentrate when the students were murmuring to themselves as they worked. Pince looked even more annoyed than usual. 

I had walked into the library, seen the number of students inhabiting it, and had promptly walked out again. I’d decided to revise outside beside the black lake because it was, for once, less distracting than being inside. Of course, there were some students from the lower years who were running around and being general menaces but after a single, well-practised, ‘I’ll eat you if you don’t stop’ glare, they got the hint and vacated the premises.

I liked to think that I was handling the stress of revising for these exams well because, unlike some others, I had yet to experience a breakdown. But maybe I was wrong. According to some of my housemates, I was becoming testier the closer the exams got. I didn’t believe them. Or rather, I hadn’t believed them until I snapped at someone for approaching me whilst I was revising by the lake.

And because I was the unluckiest witch to have been born, that someone just happened to be Thomas. Who, after approaching me, had stood in front of me, looking down at me with a grin. I had looked up at him and stared at him for a second before growing annoyed.

“Look,” I snapped, squinting slightly against the glare of the sun as I stared up at him, “I _really _don’t have time for your confusing behaviour. So, say whatever you’ve got to say, do whatever you’ve got to do and leave me alone.”

His eyebrows flew up in surprise as he nodded slowly. Dropping his bag from his shoulder, he sat down beside me and I eyed him dirtily. Merlin, I wasn’t going to get anything done if he was here. 

“So,” he drew out the word a little and I let out a sharp breath. Was he doing it on purpose just to annoy me? “O.W.L.s got to you too, huh?”

I groaned, reluctantly admitting that they had been right. I wasn’t handling my stress properly and Rowena, I snapped at him before he could say anything. Just being approached by someone was enough to set me off. Maybe I should check in with Pomfrey to see if she thought I needed some of the calming draught too?

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, letting out a breath as I started to pluck at the blades of grass beneath me. “It’s just that exams are so close that I’m panicking because I haven’t managed to cover all of the material yet. And besides, these exams are supposed to be important, right? They play a big role in our future and Merlin, I can’t handle that – I’m prattling. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” he said with a nonchalant shrug, “Everyone’s stressing about exams and it’s affecting us all differently.”

I eyed him closely, looking for one such sign of stress on him but found nothing. There was no sign of a lack of sleep, no ink smudged on his fingers from the hours of revising and no visible signs of exam apprehension. 

“Well, you’re not,” I muttered poutily.

“It wouldn’t be cool for me to act panicked,” he teasingly nudged me with his shoulder, “especially not in front of you, Howard.”

Rolling my eyes, I asked dryly, “You want to appear cool in front of me?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” he sounded surprised at my question. “Clearly I do.”

I scoffed, looking away from him as I drew my knees into my chest. “Sure, you do.”

“It’s true.” I looked at him from the corner of my eye as he fidgeted with the end of his tie before continuing, “You’ve probably got no idea but I’ve actually got the biggest crush on you.”

After his sudden declaration, he looked to me anxiously waiting for my response. I deigned not to give him one. Instead, I hurriedly gathered my things and scrambled to my feet. Before I could leave without a word, he reached out to grasp a fistful of my robe, stopping me from walking away.

Biting on my bottom lip, I looked down at him to where he was still sat. “I’m not in the mood for that kind of joke.”

Pulling my robe forcefully from his hold, I rushed away from him and towards the castle. By the time I reached it, I was practically sprinting and my lungs were burning for some much-needed air. And still, I didn’t stop. 

* * *

I did my best to dismiss Thomas’ words to the back of my mind, for as long as I could. Merlin, it took some effort to make sure that I didn’t let his words distract me but I liked to think that I had the restraint to do it. Only, that restraint snapped after the first exam I shared with him. After coming out of the charms exam, I had spied him talking to Finnegan as the fifth years walked out of the exams and had decided that enough was enough. 

Marching over to him, I called out his name, taking him by surprise. He turned towards the sound of my voice, eyes widening when he caught sight of how enraged I was.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded, jabbing a finger at his chest.

He peered down at my finger, eyebrows furrowed in confusion before raising his eyes to mine. Beside him, Finnegan asked loudly what _I_ thought I was doing. Thomas cleared his throat and didn’t move his eyes from mine as he spoke to his friend.

“I’ll see you back at the common room.”

Finnegan looked like he was going to protest but he walked away without another word. When we were left alone and most of the fifth years had returned to their own common rooms, I crossed my arms and looked up at him expectantly. 

“Well?” I raised an eyebrow, “What are you playing at?”

“I’m going to need you to be a bit more specific,” he said slowly, sounding very confused.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I asked slowly so he’d understand, “_You _rejected _me_, right? So why on earth are you chasing after me now?”

Raising an eyebrow, he asked, “Do you not want me to?”

“Stop it. Don’t answer my question with another one. Just give me a straightforward answer.”

“I thought I already did.” He tilted his head to the side, smiling slyly, “By the lake.”

“Oh.” I coloured at his words, finally letting myself believe that he’d meant it and it hadn’t been some sort of ploy to toy with my feelings. Dropping my hands back to my side, I looked away from him and began to avoid his eyes.

“Yeah, oh.” Even without looking at him I could tell that he was smiling as he spoke. He crept closer to me, moving slowly as if to not scare me. Clearing my throat, I willed the heat to leave my cheeks. “I’d really like to take you out on a date, but something tells me that you won’t appreciate that during the exams week.”

“You’re right,” I agreed with a measured nod, “I wouldn’t appreciate it.”

“Well, how about after exams then?” he suggested with a slow smile, “You won’t have to worry about revising and I won’t have to worry about you snapping my head off.”

I tried to be offended by his words but all I could focus on was the flutter my heart gave at the realisation that this was all real. This wasn’t some dream that I’d wake up from in the morning, it was real and it was happening. Somehow, miraculously, Dean Thomas liked me _back _and my crush had stopped being a very one-sided thing. 

“Ok.” I agreed slowly as if I wasn’t currently feeling over the moon at even the thought of the prospective date.

“Ok,” he repeated and we shared a look. 

Later, when I returned to the common room and dodged the inquisitive questions of my friends who had all seen me talking to him, I decided that it was quite impossible to decide which one of us had smiled wider. It was a close tie. But I liked to think that I won that. 

Even later still, on our very first date, Dean would contest my words. He’d claim that he was the one that smiled the largest and the smile I had in response would prove him wrong. 


	2. Epilogue: 10 Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had resorted to living in my blanket cocoon to deal with my heartache. 

_10 YEARS LATER_

I had resorted to living in my blanket cocoon to deal with my heartache. The stupid man had only gone and dumped me – again. After dating Dean for a while I realised that he was very on again, off again about his emotions. This was the fourth, or was it the fifth, time we’d split up since we had gotten together. Following each subsequent breakup, my outward emotional reaction had decreased until I had decided to isolate myself within the safety of my blanket cocoon.

The first time we’d broken up was at the end of our sixth year when he’d gone on the run for his safety. I had understood then why he was doing it; I wasn’t pleased about it – I was damned near heartbroken – but I had understood. The stupid man had found me in the middle of the battle and we had gotten caught up in our emotions in a scene where we really shouldn’t have been but we had gotten back together again. 

I had understood _that_ time and I refused to understand this time. 

Our next break up had been a result of tension filling our already fractured relationship. We had begun arguing over every little thing until it seemed like a day wouldn’t pass without us raising our voices at each other. It was obvious to me that we were both stressed because of both of our struggles at work and I had remained firm in my belief that if we managed to stop fighting long enough to talk then we’d fix things. He hadn’t thought so and had thought that we both needed some time apart. 

The ‘time’ he asked for ended up lasting just over two weeks before he showed up in my apartment, heavily intoxicated. Seamus had apparated him into the apartment and ordered for us to sort ourselves out and that he was sick of listening to Dean’s moping. And when Dean woke up the next morning, completely sober, we had decided to give things another shot. 

Perhaps our next break up was my fault. I had accepted a promotion quickly, maybe even too quickly as I had no clue that I was to be transferred halfway around the world as a result. It was unfair for me to assume that Dean would be happy with dating me whilst we were countries apart and so I had been forced to put a deadline on our relationship. Of course, Dean hadn’t been happy with that. He had insisted that there was no reason for us to break up over something so ‘trivial’ but it wasn’t trivial to me. And yet I had listened to him. I had continued to date him and moved halfway around the world.

It was ridiculous to believe that the distance would have no effect on our relationship. We were both flourishing in our respective careers and didn’t have any time to visit each other. As the time between visits grew, so did some unnecessary resentment. We had both come to the conclusion that our relationship wasn’t to last; I didn’t want my love for Dean to turn into my resentment for him. 

After that breakup, I had been firm in telling myself that this was it. We had tried our best to make our relationship to work and surely there was a reason that it didn’t work out. Even when I became disillusioned with working in a foreign country and requested a transfer back to England, I did it with the understanding that seeing Dean would be hard but I wouldn’t lose his friendship.

I hadn’t expected Dean to contest my wishes to remain just friends. I hadn’t been easily swayed and it took months and a dozen or so long talks over tea for me to be willing to do it all again. As we started all over again, I was hesitant in showing him any affection because I couldn’t shake the feeling that this would end all over again. Dean had seen my hesitance and knew that each break up had broken me a little more and was more firm in reassuring me of his feelings and that this wasn’t going to end.

It took a while but I opened up to him again. It had been over a year since our last break up and there had been no fights, no tension, nothing. Everything had been perfect and I was surprised to find myself more and more in love with him. That was why his declaration of ‘I don’t think we should date anymore’ startled me so much. It had come out of nowhere, stealing the strength from my knees until all I wanted to do was collapse to the ground. I didn’t think I had any more of my heart to break over him. 

He had looked like he wanted to say something but he hadn’t had the chance. He had been summoned urgently to St Mungo’s by Patronus and he had disappeared after apologising to me and telling me that we’d talk more when he came back to our shared apartment. As if I was going to wait around for that. 

When he had apparated out of our home I had begun to gather my things and removed each memento of my existence from the apartment. Gathering my things, I apparated away with them and arrived at Padma’s apartment. She threatened to hex some sense into him before ushering me inside when I collapsed into sobs.

That had been last night and I hadn’t left my position since. Padma had been kind to me, taking care of me the entire time before informing me regretfully that she needed to head off to work for an early start. After reminding me that she was a short way away, she left me alone in the apartment, just as the sun was beginning to rise.

As the sun began to properly rise, I forced myself to rise to my feet and looked through her fridge. I decided on helping myself to a simple breakfast and planned on making Padma something for lunch to thank her for being so kind. I could always drop by her workplace to give her lunch later. 

Looking through her cupboards, I levitated the cereal box down to the counter when the doorbell rang. I frowned, looking back towards the front door; not many wizards used the doorbell. Walking towards the front door, I peered through the peephole to see who was on the other side.

The small child standing on the doorstep took me by surprise, especially because I recognised the muggle child in a heartbeat. How had he gotten into the wizarding world?

Opening the front door quickly, I looked down at the child who looked up at me. “Matt, what the hell are you doing here?”

The seven-year-old grinned at me, showing off his missing front tooth. Stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around my legs, “I missed you.”

Crouching down in front of me, I peered out into the hallway. “How did you get here?”

“Dean brought me with him.” 

I rose to my feet when sure enough, Dean appeared beside his half-brother and entered the apartment behind him. He shut the door and I cleared my throat, offering Matthew my hand without addressing his brother.

“Have you had breakfast yet?” I asked as I led him into the apartment. “It’s still really early?”

The young boy shook his head and I steered him towards the kitchen, “Dean said I needed to help him with something.”

“Did he now?” I muttered as I threw the older male a look as he trailed silently after us. Matthew made himself comfortable at one of the stool. “Cereal? Toast?”

“Toast please.”

The young boy stared around the kitchen, leaning eagerly on the kitchen isle as he saw magic working around the kitchen. Smiling at the fascination on his face, I made my way around the kitchen and decided to address the elephant in the room.

“How could you bring him here without feeding him?” I demanded, turning my eyes to Dean’s as I put some toast into the toaster, “It’s 7 am!”

“You were more likely to open the door to him then you were to me,” he said with a shrug, leaning against the wall to watch as I moved around the kitchen. 

“How did you know I was here?”

“Padma sent me a howler demanding to know why I’d broken up with you again.” Matthew gasped at his brother’s words as if they had broken _his _heart. Dean looked to his brother with an affectionate smile as I buttered his toast, “Don’t worry Matt, we’re not broken up.”

“Well, that’s news to me,” I muttered dryly, placing the toast before Matthew and pouring him a glass of milk. 

Dean moved closer to me then, lowering his voice as he said, “You didn’t let me finish talking yesterday. And you misunderstood what I said.”

“What else is there to hear?” I demanded with a raised eyebrow. “You said you didn’t want to date anymore. How is it possible to misunderstand that?”

He seemed to have no answer for my question and instead of giving me a verbal answer, he kept his eyes on mine for a moment. Clearing his throat, he crossed the kitchen to stand beside Matt who looked cautiously up at his older brother, obviously sensing that something was wrong.

Dean held his hand out to him, “Did you do what I said and keep it safe?”

Matthew nodded eagerly before reaching into his hoodie pocket and handing something to Dean. “Here.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Dean ruffled his brother’s hair before throwing something at me. I caught it with both hands and my heart sank as I stared down at the box nestled in the palms of my hand. “_That _is what you misunderstood.”

“Merlin,” I muttered, opening the box with shaking fingers. Dean crossed the distance between us, taking me in his arms. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I muttered into his stomach, “I feel like the biggest idiot.”

“I bet your Ravenclaw pride is stinging quite a bit,” he teased, burrowing his face in my hair and releasing a big sigh. From over his shoulder, I saw Matthew grin as the tension dissipated and he began to finally dig into his breakfast. 

He called my name quietly and I pulled back slightly, looking up into his face.

“So? What’s your answer?”


End file.
